Whilst Hollywood movies and optimistic advertisements will show Christmas to be a joyous time full of excitement and love, in a matter of fact for a lot of people that couldn’t be further from the truth. For most, Christmas is a time for awkward family interaction, drinking far too much alcohol, and receiving too many socks as presents.
But what if there was a way to mix it up this year? What if there was a way to turn the whole holiday season on its head? What if there was a way to take recreational drugs with your family this Christmas? Of course it’s unlikely that your grandma is going to want to have a puff on a joint for the first time since the 60s this year, but let’s imagine – in a hypothetical universe – which drugs would be the best to really shake things up. Let’s go.
As the holiday season approaches, many families will be looking for ways to relax and enjoy time together. One option that some people may consider is using drugs to enhance their experiences. However, it’s important to remember that not all drugs are safe, and some can be dangerous if not used responsibly. Here are a couple things to be aware of if you are genuinely considering the option of substances this year. Firstly, it’s important to understand that not all drugs are legal.
In many places, the use of drugs like marijuana, ketamine and MDMA are illegal and can result in serious legal consequences if you are caught with them. You wouldn’t want your uncle or auntie to be taken away in a police car on Christmas day. That doesn’t sound very Christmassy, does it? Even some prescription drugs, like painkillers and tranquilizers, can be illegal to use without a valid prescription. If you are considering using drugs, it’s important to make sure that they are legal in your area and that you are using them responsibly. Grazza writes:
“‘Tis the season for excess, and indulgences of all sorts. During the festive period, alcohol consumption increases, with UK addiction charity Addaction estimating it goes up by 40% in December and that 14% drink more than what they intended. Figures for drug use at this time of year are hard to come by, but if promotional WhatsApps from drug dealers are anything to go by, it very much increases.”
Although, on the other hand, it’s unlikely that the authorities are going to come and knock on your door on the 25th of December on the off chance that your cousin is racking up a line of ketamine. Unless, of course, that your family already has issues with substance abuse, in which case, perhaps spending your Christmas doing something else is probably a better idea. If you do decide to use drugs, it’s important to choose ones that are safe and that won’t put you or your family members at risk. Some drugs, like alcohol and marijuana, are relatively safe when used in moderation, but others can be addictive and can cause serious health problems if used improperly.
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Hopefully you sense the tongue in cheek attitude of this article, rather than take it completely literally. Although for many people their ‘family’ at Christmas is just their friendship group, those who they love, and these are the sorts of people that you may take recreational substances with often. Nonetheless, we’re going to be looking at which drugs – if used hypothetically or perhaps even in reality – would be the best to take with your family (whoever that includes) at Christmas. Let us know what you think. Here we go.
How about alcohol? Well, alcohol is of course a drug and if you don’t believe that then you’re being brainwashed by the establishment to only believe that illegal substances could ever be construed as drugs. Therefore, it’s probably true that you’re already planning on taking drugs with your family this Christmas – grandmother included. A beer here, a glass of vino there, perhaps even a rum and coke deeper into the evening – alcohol offers the perfect amount of social lubricant in order to make an anxious experience into an enjoyable one.
It makes the Christmas games easier, it makes the conversation go to places that it wouldn’t if you were all sober, and it even makes sleeping easier at the end of the long laborious day. However, it’s important to keep track of the amount you drink, as it can be very easy to forget. On Christmas it can be traditional to start consuming alcohol from the morning onwards, so make sure you and your family eat enough in order to counteract the alcohol. Another issue with alcohol as a drug for Christmas is that it will give you an awful hangover the next day – especially if you have a lot of it.
Whilst the 25th may be easier to stomach, the 26th most certainly will not be. Nonetheless, alcohol has evidently stood the test of time, and is a great way to bond with your family – if used responsibly and in moderation. So perhaps keep it traditional: stock up the cupboards with alcohol and make sure there’s lots of games to play. A favorite of mine is Cards Against Humanity – that is always a laugh.
Now let’s turn our attention to cannabis. How would a family Christmas with a spice of marijuana be? Well, again, it’s probably likely that many families this year will share a spliff on 25th of December, but it isn’t the most traditional option. Cannabis, when used in the right way, can increase euphoria, mindfulness, playfulness and relaxation. If there were ever four words that could perfectly encapsulate an ideal Christmas then there they are. In fact, cannabis and Christmas may go hand in hand in a more religious way too. The Guardian writes:
“Jesus, with his long hair and good vibes, is frequently identified as 420-friendly. It’s been speculated that the the oil he used to anoint the sick and perform miracles may have been cannabis oil”
Jesus aside, it is important – like with any substance – that everything occurs in moderation. Taking too much cannabis and throwing a whitey is never enjoyable, and would be far less so if done in front of your nearest and dearest. However, this brings us to another point. Cannabis consumption has moved beyond the overpowering joint or bong hit. If your family were to all enjoy weed, they could also take advantage of easily consumed edibles. A batch of hash brownies with a light amount of cannabis would do very little, but may add just that extra element of chill to proceedings.
Picture this. You look around and, all of a sudden, your family is no longer arguing. They are talking in depth about existential topics and genuinely listening to one another for a change. Perhaps the music and food is being thoroughly enjoyed in a way that it never has before. Everyone’s senses are enhanced and it’s almost as if your whole family are children once more and Christmas has a new found magic. This is what a cannabis Christmas might look like.
What about harder drugs? Well, as mentioned before, let’s assume that you’re not going to be sent to jail for consuming these substances. But, nonetheless, a Christmas peppered with any hard stimulants, depressants or psychedelics would definitely be interesting. Whether that is in a good way or a bad way – who knows? Any hallucinogens would, such as acid, probably would freak out the majority of the family. In fact, it may be hard to get back from an experience like that.
Uncle Sean is suddenly chatting to the bookcase and Aunt Mildred is convinced that the Turkey is looking at her funny. Although if you’re in a family of psychonauts then this could be a genuinely beautiful chance to unite as one in your love for these kinds of drugs. If your Christmas was inspired by the likes of MDMA or cocaine, then there would definitely be a lot of love, hugs and conversation. Although the comedown the next day would probably make you hate yourself.
In one day you would probably tell every single family member that you love them, and would probably also come up with around 50 different app ideas. However, it’s unlikely that much food would ever be eaten as stimulants aren’t substances for appetite. Ketamine is also another option, although Christmas is usually weird enough without the need for horse tranquilizer. Although, a little bit would probably help with any anxiety.
Whatever you do decide to do with your family this Christmas, be it drugs or sobriety, here are some activities that work for any occasion and substance:
Go for a walk or hike in a nearby park or forest.
Watch Christmas films.
Bake cookies (THC-infused or not).
Play board games.
Have a family photo shoot.
Go ice skating or sledding.
Have a family talent show.
This was a brief look at what Christmas might look like on various substances. Whilst this season can be hard and not always as joyous as Hollywood makes it out to be, remember that it’s only a day and you don’t always have to stick to traditions. Who knows? Perhaps a drug themed Christmas this year may be enough to bring the joy back. But what do you think would be the best substance to take with your family this year? Let us know.
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